The Five Bells Inn, Brabourne (near Ashford), Kent: hotel review

Cosy and slightly bonkers rooms (in a good way), a welcoming bar and scrumptious food make this pub with rooms an ideal base for exploring Romney Marsh and the North Downs

This must be the most eccentric room I’ve slept in: everything’s oversized, slightly mad or both. One side of the fireplace is taken up by a framed floor-to-ceiling black-and-white photo of sculpted Renaissance bottoms, while on the other a leopard-print chair almost reaches the ceiling. There are toiletries on a huge brass tray by the freestanding bath, a sunburst mirror, some modern wallpaper and lots of exposed brick, all reflected in another mirror – gilt-framed and two metres high. Only the loo, behind a door in the corner, is reassuringly normal.

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